An Email, McGriddles, My Fat Ass and My Boss

I am a serial emailler. I'm one of those people chained to my desk sending emails like crazy. My average emails sent a day is around 30...and the number of emails I get is way more than that.

So MISTAKES do happen.

So, I got an email from a co-worker asking if I brought lunch. Here's how it goes:

Co-Worker: Did you bring lunch today? (It's only 10:30 and I'm bored already...)

Wai'oli: Nah I didn't but I figured I'll starve myself at lunch today and not eat because I'm looking forward to a BIG dinner later where I can stuff myself with Korean Bbq with rice and kimchi etc etc. PLUS, I stopped by McD's today and had a Sausage Egg McGriddle...omg, it's sooo fatty. I am so botching my diet. Me and my fat ass. Did you bring lunch?

I pressed the SEND button after that.

Got a call from my boss's (gay) assistant, Bill, one second later.

Bill: Did you mean to send an email to John?

Wai'oli: What do you mean?

Bill: Email about food...?

Wai'oli: OH. MY. GOD.

Bill: Don't worry I'll delete it before he sees it...oh cripe! He just opened it.

Wai'oli: SHIT SHIT SHIT

Apparently I forgot to close the reply window I had for my boss, because I was emailling him before I emailled my co-worker back. GREATTTTT. Why did it have to be the BIG BOSS. I mean I could've sent it to any other boss...WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THE BIG BOSS???

I am such a dumb-ass.

Now he knows I eat McGriddles to feed my fat ass. (Ugh, and he's vegan too! He must be real disgusted by me now!) Shoot me. NOW.

And then, my "You've Got Mail" sound beeped.

Oh. My. Dear. GOD.

John: No I didn't bring lunch. But I sure am hungry!!

Shoot me. NOW. NOW!

Wai'oli: SORRY JOHN!!!!

After a tense couple of minutes...and a gazillion visions of me walking into his office and getting reprimanded for personal use of email...and eventually getting FIRED...and him telling me to go on a diet...

John: No problem. :-)

OH MY GOD. I felt weak. My sweaty armpits and clammy hands suddenly felt awkwardly uncomfortable. And I let out a big WOOOSH of air, and started laughing. I am such a nutcase. Thank GOD my boss loves me.

Who cares if I'm the laughingstock of the office for a month? I don't! At least everyone gets a good laugh out of it. Haha!

Cheers to not getting fired.