123 Days of Solitude

And so I am slowly re-emerging into society.

Somehow I found myself indulging in this pseudo social experiment...i cut myself off from the normal world of a typical mid-twenties woman for 123 days (and counting)...

I've cut down on EVERYTHING...minimal cellphone usage (i've changed phones completely...changed phone plans COMPLETELY...minimized my text plan)...computer usage to the minimum...even human contact was reduced to one to two friends...seriously, talk about turning anti-social. It's like I woke up one day and decided to purge myself of technology and human interaction. Seriously. Ask my friends if I've talked to them in months, and they'll say i've been MIA for four months (or less).

Truth is I think I got tired of the city lifestyle. After living for twenty-one years in a small town i love to call elbi...i thrust myself out into the glammed up lifestyle of living in the city of Los Angeles. It certainly did not help that bars were excessively accesible...and my friends were amazingly AMAZING party people. But I just wanted to stop and just SIT, RELAX and do jack shit.

I worked and worked and worked...I became the true daughter of my father for whom I've inherited my incessant desire to work.

Father + daughter = Workaholics

And I an certainly admit now that ALL WORK AND NO PLAY - MAKES A REALLY DULL PERSON. Not that I did not enjoy myself being the hermit...in fact I embraced every inch of my boring old self. It was new, and exhilirating and utterly scary.

For 123 days I've indulged myself in hearing SILENCE...and found out that there's nothing scary in hearing myself think...in facing my dark thoughts (No, i'm not talking about cutting myself)...suddenly after a long time, I saw more of a glimmer of who i was five years ago. The shy little girl who would be holed up in her bedroom and writing stupid crap in her journal...

But slowly I am re-emerging...I've figured it's just about time before I start talking to myself and hear voices in my head.